SPEED WEEK part 2: 17 of my favorite fast songs of all time
In no particular order other than the order I thought them up, here are just a handful of songs in my personal fast song hall of fame. But before we start, here's a fun fact I learned from googling around for a question I had about whether recorded music has gotten faster over time...
LET THAT SHIT RIP. This is Baroque boy propaganda I can get behind. Ok let's go....
"Walking On Sunshine" - Katrina & The Waves (1983)
I don't know if this is a universal experience, but when I was a kid, before I had complete command of the concept of authorship, I'd sometimes believe that a very famous song was sang by a personal family member of mine. The pop cultural version of mistaking your teacher for your mom, maybe? I think my confusion might have stemmed from an early viewing of a professional-looking 'karaoke video' of my eldest cousin singing "The Sign" by Ace of Base. And in this case, I thought for a good while that my aunt sang "Walking On Sunshine"? My aunt definitely has "Walking On Sunshine" energy. The scene in High Fidelity where Jack Black blasts this song as part of a Monday morning mixtape is one of the only times I've truly seen myself 'represented onscreen.'
"Going Steady" - Death From Above 1979 (2004)
You're A Woman, I'm A Machine was in heavy rotation in high school. The idea that Jesse F. Keeler was playing a bass like it was a lead guitar was mindblowing. I still think it's cool. Send me any examples of people doing this (bass-as-guitar), ienjoymusicblog [at] gmail [dot] com.
"Bubble Pop Electric" - Gwen Stefani (2004)
Gwen's first solo album was a real moment. André 3000 co-wrote this one. It's insane. The bubble percussion is so neat. I like how whiny Gwen sounds at the beginning when she's cosplaying some kind of Rizzo-style 1950s harlot. It's funny that this album, which contains some totally classic songs like "Cool" as well as some innovative, still kinda futuristic-sounding production, is somewhat dinged by Gwen's commitment to having four silent Japanese women follow her around for its promotion. (Still think it's wild that she told a major publication,"My God, I'm Japanese and I didn't know it," in 2023. Oh Gwen.)
"U Should Know Better" - Robyn (2010)
Her moderately uptempo 16th note sequencer bangers are the ones everyone thinks of, but I have a real soft spot for "U Should Know Better," a duet with Snoop Dogg that has Woke 1.0, Facebook status energy ("When in Rome, I sat down with the Romans / Said we need a Black pope and she better be a woman"). Come for the high octane synth bass, stay for Snoop pronouncing "Black president, livin' in the White House" with relish. P.S. are people saying Robyn's new song "Sexistential" is corny?? Stop it. She has always been like this. If you can't handle her at her "in my sweatpants and some juicy hentai," you don't deserve her at her "I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohhhh."
"B.O.B. (Bombs Over Baghdad)" - Outkast (1999, or as André 3000 says, "1-9-9-9")
My friend Matthew put this song on his "103 A+ Classics from the 2000s" playlist and I put it on for one of my morning runs and I ran faster than Usain Bolt.
"Chorus (WWW)" into "Audio, Video, Disco (WWW)" - Justice (2018)
I've written here before about how I prefer the Woman Worldwide rendition of these Justice songs better than the originals. Maybe that's a wonky take but I just think these French boys slayed the remodel. You know what's funny? I actually don't think these songs are any faster than their forebears...they just sound faster. It's like les hommes de Justice used a higher-grade gasoline or something.
"Let's Go Crazy" - Prince and the Revolution (1984)
One of my first ever favorite fast songs, it captured my imagination as a child in a way that I still can't describe...a perfect song in every way. The sermon. The guitar solo. If you played this song for someone who had no idea who Prince was and asked them to draw what this song looked like, I feel like they would nail the aesthetic. It SOUNDS PURPLE.
"Deceptacon" - Le Tigre (1999)
Playing this during a DJ set is a one-way ticket to every cool chick in the vicinity going absolute apeshit. 👊 WANNA SEE ME DISCO??
"Blade" - Brutalismus 3000 (2022)
Got into Brutalismus 3000 after seeing someone tweet a playlist they had made called "i am dissociating" that had some choice cuts. It's very popular on TikTok to show yourself doing mundane work tasks like checking email while listening to hard techno.
"We like to Party! (The Vengabus)" - Vengaboys (1998)
I have three sisters. One of them got married in 2019. The night before the wedding festivities started, the gals went out to a bar to celebrate and welcome the first wave of out-of-towners. It was apparently a rager. I unfortunately missed it, and arrived the next morning to find my fellow O'Briens in rough condition. On the drive to the wedding venue, I tried to perk everyone up by playing the Vengabus song. It was received in silence. Later my sisters told me it was the worst hangover of their lives, and the bus beeping almost killed them. I remain unapologetic.
"Play Your Part (Part 1)" - Girl Talk (2008)
They should talk about Girl Talk the way they talk about Mozart.
"Your English Is Good" - Tokyo Police Club (2008)
In some ways, college Molly was the mellowest Molly there was—I listened to a lot of, like, Neko Case, and I thought electronic dance music sucked ass—but I was still a little speed freak at heart, and this song was good for lifting my spirits as I dashed across campus in my Frye boots, Urban Outfitters babydoll dress, and Goodwill plaid flannel....a crispy box of American Spirit yellows in my jacket pocket...a used copy of Virginia Woolf's Orlando in my bookbag...ahhhhh...
"Bonkers" - Dizzee Rascal & Armand Van Helden (2009)
Some people fink I'm bonkers...but I just fink I'm free. That distorted bass goes crazy and stupid. Dizzee Rascal performed "Bonkers" at the London Olympics opening ceremony (one of the weirdest and most fun televisual experiences of all time) and it was preceded by a montage of kisses from cinematic history, including the kiss from Shrek, whose inclusion confused me 'til I realized that I guess Shrek is canonically British (Scottish)? If you are feeling malaise, my prescription is like 5mg THC, a medium-size breakfast burrito, and this four-hour broadcast recording.
"Liar (It Takes One To Know One)" - Taking Back Sunday (2006)
You didn't know me during my Taking Back Sunday days. A time of great discontent and peevishness. My roommate at state-sponsored art camp was a fellow TBS fan and that brought us closer immediately. The thing I like about this song, besides the speed, is the chorus, which has this great call-and-response melody that interacts beautifully with the guitar part. It's so satisfying when everything interlocks.
"Gold Dust" - DJ Fresh (2008)
When I went to a Dutch drum and bass festival I heard this song multiple times. It seems to be a modern classic of the drum and bass genre. The dubstep version is also good but of course...it is not as fast.
"Ass N Titties" - DJ Assault (1997)
What part of ass n titties do you not understand?
"Green Light" - Lorde (2017)
Heard this for the first time on the treadmill at the Park Slope Blink Fitness and almost passed out. Have since gotten the privilege to see it live twice. It's fun to make a sharklike arm motion when Lorde goes "those great whites, they have big teeth...hope they bite you!!" "Green Light" has a music video that feels like the song, a surprisingly tall ask in the post peak MTV era. I just looked up sped-up versions of "Green Light" on YouTube and of course they exist. They are fun and exciting but nothing replaces the original. Lorde can get as weird as she likes for the rest of her life, thanks to the existence of this song.
Hope u are digging Speed Week, please come back quickly aka tomorrow.
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